Tonight on my way home from work I was charged by a raccoon.
It was in an unlit walkway between two streets and some shops (King’s Yard for those of you familiar with Yellow Springs, Ohio), and I sat the silouette of two creatures. I paused and took a step toward them, thinking them cats, which I love and always try to seduce. The one in the back I think was a cat. The one closer to me was not a cat. I saw this immediately and before I could do anything it came at me, running full speed toward my feet, making a noise like a small dog wrenching and writhing a small child.
I kind of yelled. Did I mention it was dark, and that it was a narrow footpath so I had nowhere to run and I probably would have tripped and then I would have really been in trouble? I had a baguette in my hand, not for me, I’m gluten intolerant but I was bringing it to this family I know. I swung the baguette and it whacked the raccoon in the face. It was tossed kind of behind me to the edge of the footpath, and I looked back at it assuming it would come at me again. It didn’t, so I walked quickly away.
I brought the bread to the family’s house, left them a note saying they might want to cut off the ends (I didn’t remember which end), and also that I wouldn’t be camping in their yard as I had intended because tonight I was terrified of raccoons (which also frequent their yard), and making a comment about how gluten isn’t all bad for me, it saved my life or at least my ankles.