I was telling Bambu how I go through periods of being really angry and vocal about fucked up things in the world—specifically, political injustice and even more specifically, sexist oppression—but then people give me shit for being angry and vocal, so then I calm down—or rather, just shut up, and try to ignore newstands and TV (which is not difficult, being a TV-less individual), but then I get active again, and angry that I was silent for all that time, and the cycle continues. Sparks to this part of the cycle invariably involve, these days, taking a Women’s Studies class, which I’m doing this term (Feminist Theories). It makes it that much more salient. But now my critical-thinking mind is really coming of age, so I can now articulate my anger in a way that begets good, processing anger and not exasperated, incommunicative frustration. I’m realizing more and more that I can be pissed off at the injustices of the world, and think (and talk) about them, but remain… I don’t know if hopeful is the right word. It’s more about feeling less defeated and hopeless. Hopeful indicates a certain optimism about the future that I don’t have—but I don’t have its opposite, either. I’ve never given the future much consideration—though I haven’t disregarded it in some nihilistic way, either. I just regard it differently than most people seem to. The concept of the Future Perfect (yes, like the grammatical tense)—a theory brought to my attention by Winko, which I should write about more clearly some day—has helped to shape how I think about time, the present past and future. It’s a theory that explains how I’ve looked at things (and might explain my fascination [obsession] with time in general) as well as a lesson to be more mindful about how I look at things. It’s neither nihilism nor fantasy—it’s pragmatism.
welcomeA blog by Vanessa Query aka Vee the Monsoon, with ruminations on topics ranging from my adventures as a dilettante/ gadabout/ starving artist to insipid missives about things and people I love to socio-political/ theoretical observations on art, entertainment, and culture. Plus some pretty pictures.
This blog is no longer. Check out my food blog, They Call Me Oystergirl, launched in September 2012.
taxonomy, sort of
we go way back