Molly’s Kidnap Novel

I keep thinking you look at me all the time but maybe it’s just because I look at you all the time and you’re looking back at me and thinking, Why is she looking at me?

I want to talk to you but I don’t know what to say except will you marry me?

I feel like Molly Ringwald in “16 Candles”—Hi!—Hi my name is—Hey what’s up—Hey this is gonna sound weird but I had a crazy dream last night and you were in it. Yea yea that’s the one. Only it’s not.

Only mine will be more like—Do you like “Father Ted”? Have you ever been to Providence? Do you like carnivals? Have you ever been to a sideshow? What’s your favorite Clash lyric? Do The Decemberists make you cry? What about Belle And Sebastian? Have you ever seen a Neil Jordan film? How about Atom Egoyan? Have you ever fallen in love in Amsterdam? Have you ever fallen in love with Amsterdam? Have you ever had a precognitive dream? Do you find yourself wondering how many people have sat where you’re sitting now, and how many of their stories would you really like to know and how many of their stories would just bore you to tears? Do you find yourself easily addicted to foods like edamame? Do you see beauty and brilliance in things others find basic and boring? Do you like montage sequences? Must you have them with music or do you not have a preference? What did you think of the movie “Shortcuts”? Did you want to be a robot like Vicki in “Small Wonder”? Did you want to be a cat like Garfield? Or perhaps a cheetah? Have you ever had fantasies about getting mauled to death? Did “The X-Files” bring you through your formative years? Did you pray every night even though you weren’t taught there was a god? Did you cry more for your hamster’s death than for your grandfather’s? Did you ever wonder where those fantasies about being kidnapped came from? Did you ever want to live in a novel? Did you ever try to live in a novel? What would you do if I asked you these questions? Would you answer? Would you laugh, overwhelmed? Would you run away screaming? What would you do? Why can’t I find out?

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