What did you learn today?
I learned that you should not look at people on the subway, because if you see someone you think you’d like, well what’s the point, you’ll never actually talk to them, and prolonged visual exposure will just make it worse.
I learned that no matter how much you think you are a ‘kindred spirit’ with someone, it’s pretty random whether or not they’ll feel the same way.
I learned that no matter how much we think we’re over things, an unwanted dream can bring it all back.
I learned that even when said dreams mess with us, it’s often just the idea of it that we miss, not the actual person. And that all these people in trains, all these would-be kindred spirits, all these connections with art and entertainment, are all you just wanting the idea back.
I learned that no matter how much we know all these things, it doesn’t stop us from making fools of ourselves or just plain wasting away in yearning.
I learned that I’m cynical and depressed today.